Grocery Store Flirt

Posted on March 26, 2012


I don’t know who’s more out of date,

You, For trying to meet someone at the grocery store


Me, always forgetting other people still do this.

Am I getting old or did I just run into the drawback of a little too much Internet?

I hope my writing this, doesn’t already answer that question.

Ugh, now I’m really confused;


Is it stupid to think you were valiant for trying to introduce yourself to me on aisle three?

Does this sound stuck up?  Because I’m not…

I’m just a headcase.

Should I have offered you encouragement instead of shutting you down?

I mean don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t interested at all,

But I did notice how timid you were;

Now I feel bad.

Why did I lie through my teeth when you asked me if I was “Single”?

You know, I’m usually such a bitch about honesty.

I should have gave you a compliment;

I didn’t have to say “No”.

What if I had just said, I’m not on the market, but you are a Total Doll?

I would have been honest then and you were very nice;

Not only did you introduce yourself,

You shook my hand.

Perhaps I could have shared with you how polite I thought your gestures were?

You know, many guys get shitty when girls don’t jump to talk to them;

Instead of getting snotty or whining Sorry I bothered you,

I was highly amused as you left squeaking

“I love your toes by the way”.

I wonder if you have any clue when I started laughing, it wasn’t at you?

I was in raggedy-mom mode; Tattered jeans and flip-flops,

Wearing no make up, Jacket zipper freshly ripped,

Mussed hair tucked into a baseball cap;

You actually made my day.

In the future, I will try to remember

I should return such favors.


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