may God forgive me
—
I ran into your Mother at the store…
She said you have cancer and she wishes you would die already.
Normally, I would be absolutely disgusted to hear a woman say she wants to see her own son dead, but I’m not so quick to judge: After all, she isn’t the only one who feels this way about you. Besides, I don’t even believe you have cancer…
Yea, I haven’t forgotten what a fucking liar you are.
While other people may fall for your manipulative bullshit, I know exactly what you’re capable of.
You see you cant attack me, hold my newborn and I hostage, brag you are going to kill us and where you plan to dump our bodies, how you intend to get away with it and expect me not to fight back. You underestimated me, because you only prey on people who are smaller than you or defenseless and assumed if you tried to intimidate me, I would never tell anyone if I escaped…
Thought I’d never be able to stand up to you in court and watch them send you to prison…
Thought you would get away with violating the No-Contact Order when you got out by stalking my family, finding out where I live, breaking into my home, forcing me to sleep with you and stealing my car…
But you were wrong.
You may have made my life hell, but I am alive and now you are up shit creek;
You’ve got two strikes – You’re only one wrong move away from going to prison for life..
And now everyone knows what you’re about; How you also went to jail for Domestic Violence, beating your girlfriends, wife and abusing your children who you lost all custody of – Not to mention your convictions for Assault, Arson, Robbery, Theft, Reckless Endangerment among others – Including that time you went to jail for Indecent Liberties with a Minor (your own cousin).
See I’ve learned a lot about you, more than you will ever know about me.
But I will share one little detail: When I close my eyes at night, My head fills up with graphic dreams about mutilating, torturing and murdering you. While, I have no desire to act upon the images floating through my brain while I sleep, I guarantee if you ever break into my home again, You’ll end up in a morgue…
And your mother will get to plan that funeral she’s waiting for.
.
if i die before i sleep 
mikereverb
March 21, 2012
Almost didn’t comment, but can’t help myself.
Unresistingly venomous and raw. Thanks for having the courage to share something so personal and powerful.
karmicdiva
March 21, 2012
very powerful. thanks for sharing it
~Robin~
March 22, 2012
I feel compelled to comment on this one, and at the same time, the right words just aren’t surfacing for me. This is incredibly powerful and deeply touching. It’s brave, and raw and honest and beautiful in very sad, dark way… if that can even make sense. Just know – for what it’s worth – that you have my respect.
bipolarmuse
March 25, 2012
WOW… amazing write. So raw and full of emotion. And so personal. Thank you for sharing.
boldkevin
March 26, 2012
Hi 🙂
I got tagged this morning in the Tagging Game part ii and since I have to then tag 11 bloggers I of course had to include you.
Apologies if you have already done this or are fed up with the game already (it seems that I am behind the times a little with all this)
But should you wish to play along here are my answers. http://voicesofglass.com/2012/03/26/tagging-game-part-2/
Kind Regards
Kevin
Bird
March 27, 2012
Sometimes, we just feel what we feel. Been there too.
Did you send the link to him? Please tell me you did. He should have a glimpse….
Bird
March 27, 2012
Sadly, I understand this too. I wrote out a similar letter once, but I never sent it. It is still in my diary. I didn’t realize when I was talking about reading those appeals that you had to deal with this up close and personal. I’m horrified for you. After this post, though, he’d be pretty stupid (which has kind of been confirmed already at this point) to mess with you again. I’m a Gun Owner, and have no issues using it.
wendy
March 27, 2012
WOW. what an amazing story of courage and strength in the face of “terrible” circumstances. My heart goes out to you for what you’ve been through, yet I am also rejoicing at how you’ve overcome, and become stronger.